http://www.maydenchronicles.com/2009/11/07/chapter-23-first-draft/#more-812

Brings me to the Chapter 23 page…so will comment on Chapters 26 & 27 here. :~)

““Sure,” he says, heaving the bag off to one side of the laundry room and pulling out a pocket knife for the plastic packaging. I immediately weight the options of him accidentally cutting into a chair cover versus not getting the job done, and opt to trust him. ”

“….I immediately weight the options…” change ‘weight’ to ‘weigh’

““She’s alright, then?” I ask, wondering if my healing might have helped after all. The queasy feeling in my gut must be dedicated to her, at least in part, because hearing the news eases it a bit. That, plus the relief of knowing both the call and picking Anna up can be taken off my “to do” list. Thought he idea of a special driver seems out of the blue.”

“…Thought he idea of a …” hmmm think this might be “Though his idea of a…”

“Together we run down the long list of things yet to do, divvy them up, and assign some general guidelines as to when things should be starting to be served when. All business, but there’s something going on, under the surface. Something big, like Bigfoot at the edge of the woods, or the Lockness monster waiting to rear it’s ugly head from the waters.”

“…or the Lockness monster…” change ‘Lockness’ to “Loch Ness” also, “…waiting to rear it’s ugly…” change ‘it’s’ to ‘its’

Chapter 27:

““I guess I should be,” I say, more nonchalant that I could have imagined at any other moment today. “Everyone keeps warning me of things. You, Jake, Michael. Even Bea. Must be there’s something cooking besides the puff pastries.””

“…more nonchalant that I…” change ‘that’ to ‘than’

““So tell me why,” I implore. “I mean it, tell me why. Because I don’t see it. I mean, I know my whole life is on the line here. With Jake saying he loves me, and Michael leaving. And I know Anna is old and so is Bea, and they might die before I learn enough to carry things on. And things get crazy with Magic changing things all over the place, and you shapeshifting, and that “nothing” place being so hard to come back from. But really, what can you throw at me after all that? I’m still standing, right? Still standing, and I’ve even managed to throw a hundred person party—having no idea how, mind you—for a person I’ve never met and no one likes. The way I see it, it’s working. It’s all working. So why do I care if the questions are bigger than I know? What if there are a few lies thrown in? What if Helene herself arranged for the party? So what? How can stand up to what we are to each other? You can’t tell me this isn’t my family. I’ve been waiting to feel this way my whole life. Knowing it is possible, I can handle whatever I have to. You all didn’t bring this me this far to drop me, did you?””

Sorry…long paragraph. (blush)

About 3/4 down “….How can stand up to what..” add ‘that’ after ‘can’ also last sentence: “You all didn’t bring this me this far…” delete the first ‘this’

““Would you stop talking in riddles? You all talk in hints and warnings and I’m sick of it. If you want to say something, just say it. How is Anna here in a way that is that is ‘not as I think?’””

“…How is Anna here in a way that is that is ‘not…” delete the frist ‘that is’

:~)

Hmmmmm…. funeral… a clue.